Struggling

I think too much. Worrying too much. Feeling afraid for something that I don't see. Hearing everything and feeling deserved for that things. Oh God, I am really confused.

I just want to do what I want and my focus is not the money. Really. I mean it. If You send me to the place that may be can't be seen by glasses in the globe, I want it. I will go to that place. But I have one wish before I go. I want to bring my special person. I think if I go with him/her who accept me as really I am may be I can do everything I have to do.

I just want to cheer You God with all I am without disturbing the others' life. in fact, I can't do this together. I have parents and little brother who I have to give responsibilities. I have in the world that don't know love. The true love that giving not asking, caring not abandoning.

God, I really struggle for choosing the right decision for all people who I love.

If I make a list of my abilities, I see :
1. I have willing to learning although I take longer time than others.
2. I have talents (singing and serving).
3. I have high empathy for others.
4. I am a good listener.
5. I am mathematician (may be).
6. I am a believer of God.
7. I am an introvert character.
8. I can't speak and everything about English fluently.
9. I like nature.

God, with all of these stuff in my life, would You tell me what I have to do directly?
I have no clue, God.

I really want to know the answer, I will ask You everyday. Please answer me, my pray and my sadness, God.

I only want to love and no more. May be people think I am too naive. But this is me, God. This is me. I do what I trust that You want me to do.

Amen